From the moment my children get home from school, I am greeted with begging and pleading for electronic stimulation. It could be my iPhone, the computer, Wii or TV—anything will do! They have a constant thirst for electronic media. While I love the idea of them being computer-savvy, I feel the need to protect their developing minds. I am constantly wondering how much is too much and how I can implement “screen time” boundaries that will stick. We asked parents and parent educators about ways to allow children a healthy amount of screen time.

Impact of Screen Media

Heavy use of screen media can have significant impacts on children, according to research. It has been linked with aggressive behavior, weight gain, lower physical activity, and sleep problems. Children who use a lot of screen media are also more likely to do poorly in school— though children can benefit from quality educational programs. (For more about research on the effects of screen media, see http://www.4children.org/issues/2011/winter_2011_2012/children_and_electronic_media/)

“Screen time is linked to poor attention and concentration,” adds Susan Linn with Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood. “Also, the more [children] are in front of screens, the harder time they have turning [devices] off,” she adds.

Set Limits

The American Academy of Pediatrics and other groups recommend children have no more than two hours a day of screen media, says Tasha Howe, professor of Psychology at Humboldt State University. The AAP recently loosened recommendations for infants and toddlers—from zero screen time to limited time with screen media.

Parents should focus on the balance between children's use of screen media and other activities, and also on quality programming, recommends Caroline Knorr, parenting editor with Common Sense Media. “Make sure your kid is getting a varied mix of activities that strengthen their bodies, brains, and social skills.[Also, encourage] programs that stimulate imagination, abstract thinking, and even cooperative play,” she adds.

Experts also recommend parents limit children’s exposure to violent programming and advertising. Tessa Jolls, President of Center for Media Literacy, remembers a discussion with her son when she would not buy him a violent video game. “He was mad about that,” she says. “So I told him why I disagreed with the content and I didn’t budge. Parents don’t have to buy the Rated-R movie or the violent video game,” she adds.

Make an Agreement

“Sit down with a family meeting and write out a contract [about children’s media use], allowing the kids some say in the rules and consequences,” says Howe. “Then they will be invested in the process. When they break the rules, there won’t be many arguments because you whip out the contract.” She made a contract with her son when he got his first cell phone last year. The agreement included rules about when it was OK to text, when the phone stayed home, when it was put in its charger at night, and what would happen if the phone was broken or lost.

Monitor Use of Screen Media

Howe allows her children a set amount of screen time each day. If they “go over their time, we deduct [time] from the next day,” she says. “If they go over 15 minutes, they lose their media for two days.” She also stands over their shoulder to watch them play a video game. “My kids actually like this because they want to tell me about the game,” she adds.

Pat Cremer, San Carlos mother to four boys ranging in age from 3-9, manages her children’s screen time with a timer. But the timer is used to track how much the children read. The more her children read, read to their siblings, or are read to, the more screen time they are allowed. “This reduces a lot of arguments,” she says. “You can’t argue with a timer.” She records shows so her children can skip the commercials.

Parents can also watch TV and play video games with their children, says Knorr. “Sharing the experience allows you to know what they’re doing and also strengthens your bond with your kids,” she adds.

In addition, parents should monitor children’s use of the internet, says Dimitri Christakis, Director of the Center for Child Health, Behavior and Development at the Seattle Children’s Research Institute. For example, “I recommend that if their child is on Facebook, the parent is on Facebook and ‘friends’ them,” he adds. This allows the parent to see what the child is posting and keep track of online friends. Christakis and his son made an agreement—he would ‘friend’ his son, but he also promised not to post anything on his son’s account, he says.

Discuss What Your Child Sees on the Screen

“Movies, TV shows, and video games are full of stereotypes,” says Knorr. “White male heroes far outnumber both women and minorities in media portrayals.” It is important for parents to address these depictions with children, because the images children see inform their sense of what is “normal.”

Parents can help children think critically about media messages by fostering media literacy skills. Knorr suggests the following strategies. Keep a tally of the characters. Ask if children see any connections between characters’ race and gender and how they are portrayed in the program or game. Talk about these observations.

Ask children what they think about gender, racial, and economic equality. Then ask what they think of heroes and villains in video games and movies. What aspects of these portrayals reflects their values? What does not?

Find products that promote positive images (see resources for reviews)—and contact media companies about stereotypes in their products.

When Howe’s children are watching TV, she sits with them for a few minutes. She asks about the characters and the story—and she lets her children know what she thinks if she sees meanness, name calling, or degrading characters.

She recalls when her son came home from a friend’s house, saying “‘All my friend wants to do is play these violent video games. I told him it wasn’t that fun and that we should go play basketball.’ So even though he played a game he wasn’t supposed to play, it only lasted a few moments,” she adds.

When Jolls’ daughter became obsessed with the TV show Friends, Jolls used the opportunity to talk with her daughter about the family’s values. “All of my daughter’s friends were into this show and it was all about relationships, sexual and otherwise,” she recalls. Jolls and her daughter talked about how some of the characters acted and why, and why some of the relationships did not work. As time passed, her daughter decided not to watch similar programs “based on her own judgment,” says Jolls.

Be a Role Model

Parents should set an example by using media the way they want their children to use it, says Knorr. For example, “don’t bring cell phones to the dinner table. Turn the TV off when it’s not actively being watched. Record shows that may be inappropriate for your kids to watch and watch them when kids aren’t around,” she adds.

“Make time for family game night, sports, dinners together, and talking,” adds Howe. “If you don’t have media on all the time, it will be less appealing to kids.”

Resources

• Center for Media Literacy provides resources that teach children about media literacy, 310-456-1225, www.medialit.org
• Common Sense Media offers reviews of children’s media and media literacy tools, 415-863-0600, www.commonsensemedia.org
• PBS Parents offers tips related to children and screen media. In English: www.pbs.org/parents/childrenandmedia; In Spanish: www.pbs.org/parents/childrenandmedia/spanish
• Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood works to limit the impact of commercial culture on children, 617-896-9368, www.commercialfreechildhood.org